I am so fed up with my husband I am ready to strangle him. He is totally lazy, selfish and self-absorbed. We both work, and we have two children ages two years and 10 months. Chores are difficult with two little ones. I find myself doing all of them by myself on the weekends while he lays on the couch "watching the babies."

I have to ask him to change diapers, put away his dishes, or pick up his clothes. I am trying to set a good example for my boys, but he is hindering this. He doesn't even mow the lawn. He pays someone to do it. It seems the less he has to do, the less he wants to do.

He makes such a mess I dread walking in the door. He never completes a task. I make $1000 more a month than he does, work more hours, and come home two hours later than he does. Still I have to do most of the work. We cannot afford to pay someone to clean the house.

I have been struggling with a root canal for the last two weeks, and he can't manage to take care of the boys so I can take pain medication and rest. I can't take this. Please help me before I am arrested for spouse abuse.

LeAnn


LeAnn, you cannot afford to let this problem continue year after year. It is time to budget for a solution.

Take a look at all your bills and decide which items you can reduce or live without. Plan economies which fall equally on you both. If there are chores you don't mind or actually enjoy, reserve those for yourself, then make calls to find out how much it would cost to hire out the rest.

Talk to your husband, tell him what you have in mind, and set a deadline for a solution of the problem. With his attitude he may totally agree with you, or he may be willing to contribute more effort. Either way it is time for him to decide to do, or to do without.

We know. You are going to say you cannot afford this, but this is the only solution which is under your control. There is a price for enjoying a clean house and having some leisure time. If you begin fantasizing about divorce, the money may not seem like too much a price to pay.

Wayne & Tamara