My 12-year-old son recently asked me why his father needs to pay child support. He continued by saying his dad was struggling with paying his own bills and supporting his new family. His dad tells him the fact that he never sees his son is reason enough not to pay.

I am disgusted this topic is being discussed with my son in the first place. I don't know how to respond to this question. Any ideas?

Ivory


Ivory, just as a person testifying in court promises to tell the truth, your former husband made a promise. In front of a clergyman or judge, in front of witnesses and guests, he promised to bear the financial obligations of creating a new life. That promise was so important it was recorded in a government record.

When he started his new family, it was with the knowledge of a promise he already made. It has nothing to do with how often he sees his son. Even if you two never married, the child support you receive means the government recognizes his obligation.

At 12, your son doesn't want his father to pull away, but your son thinks unless he can make his father's wish happen, he will lose his dad. Your son thinks appeasing his father will gain his father's love. He is not mature enough to understand this is not another tie made, but another tie broken.

As tactfully and gently as you can, tellyour son this matter has been settled in court and is not open to discussion. Child support is no less than what his father's new wife would expect if he left that family. At 12, your son will understand it isn't fair to go back on a promise.

If your son continues to plead his dad's case, let him understand he already has had his answer. This matter was settled by a judge in a court of law.

Wayne